Reframing the American Dream

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Reframing the American Dream

“Happiness cannot come from without, it must come from within”

- Helen Keller

Dr. Tal Ben Shachar, an Israeli Ph.D from Harvard started a class at Harvard back in 2006 hoping to draw at least 100 students. This class was new in Harvard and probably the only University in the world that was talking about it, so he wasn’t sure if students would sign up. It turned out that 1000 students signed up and the class became one of the most popular classes given at Harvard.
The title of the class was “Positive Psychology” and was essentially a study and understanding of happiness.
What was surprising for many was why someone would teach a class on happiness at all and especially at Harvard? Harvard is recognized as the most prestigious, elite and well respected University in the world. Why would students need a class on happiness when they should be the happiest people on earth, having achieved the highest success on earth? Perhaps they would need positive psychology classes at less respected institutions or for less successful students, but not Harvard.
Yet students at Harvard were not only hungry for this class, they were starving for it. A study showed that 80% of Harvard students suffered from “dabilitating depression”. Somehow, despite the success, students were not only unhappy, the vast majority couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. How can that be?
Dr. Shachar addressed the premise that is prevalent in Western Society and asked if it is true. The premise is that what brings a person happiness is success. When a person succeeds, then they are happy. We are told in Western Society that the pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of success. We are told to get good grades to be accepted into a good school which will land us a good job which will afford us the comforts and luxuries of a high quality of life. That will make us happy.
Despite much success wealth and success nowadays, people are actually less happy. A study showed that in 1960 the youngest age a person experienced depression was 29 and by the mid 2000’s the youngest age was 14. But compared with 1960, we live in a much higher state of wealth and success. Our cars are faster and safer, our homes are bigger, there are iPods, laptops, internet, better coffee and TV and movies available 24 hours a day – so why are people less happy? Why is it that a 14 year old in 1960 had no clue what depression was, yet today they’re writing books on it?
If a 14 year old experiences depression, society is in trouble. A 14 year old should not be worrying about what college he’ll go to or his retirement plan.
Scientists call this the “Progressive Paradox”. Where despite more progress and success, people are less happy. Shawn Achor, a student of Dr. Shachar’s and recent author of “The Happiness Advantage” explains that in fact it is not a paradox because the premise is false. Success does not equate happiness.
Achor explains that scientists have uncovered that the brain is a single processor and can only devote its resources to one thing at a time. As a result, our brains are always at a crossroads to choose how to interpret and experience what is happening to us. Is this good or bad? The more we interpret “bad” the more unhappy we will be. The more we interpret, internalize and choose to experience “good” the happier we will be.
Achor explained that Western society is driven to success with the premise that it will bring happiness – yet nothing could be further from the truth. Happiness is a choice, an obligation, a mindset and attitude. Happiness does not come with success, it comes with training. This understanding is expressed in this week’s Torah narrative.
“These are the stories of Yosef, who was 17 years old”

- Genesis 37:2
The story of Yosef is a story of absolute challenge. Despised by his brothers, attempted murder by his brothers, sold as a slave, manipulated by his boss’s wife, in jail for two years. From living in wealth and comfort in his parents home to a horrid place of slavery, one would wait for bitterness from Yosef. From his father’s love to a jail cell while innocent, one would wait for complaints from Yosef. Yet despite being subject to the most trying and depressing circumstances, Yosef never utters a word of complaint, negativity or sadness.
“ And Yosef’s master saw that God was with him and that whatever Yosef did, God made successful.” – Genesis 39:3
“ That God was with him. Yosef was always speaking of God” – Rashi.
Why was Yosef so successful despite all his difficulties? How did his master see him as special? How did he notice people unhappy, when he himself should have been unhappy:

“And Yosef entered the jail in the morning and saw them (the baker and wine pourer) sad. Yosef asked them, “why are your faces sad today?” – Genesis 40:6,7
Yosef cannot understand why someone would be unhappy. Yosef is perplexed how someone can have a sad face on. Yet for the modern mind, Western society would be more perplexed as to why Yosef isn’t miserable! Clearly he must have some good anti-depressants.
Yosef was taught the principles of truth and higher living by his parents. God only does good and it is an effort and choice to see that good. Look for it, seek it and speak to God to find it.
Yosef’s success of happiness was due to his mindset, not his circumstances. The wine pourer and baker were depressed because they focused on themselves and their situation. Yosef never did and so he was able to be sensitive to them, to have compassion and listen to them.
Yosef was living on a level of constant choice and always bringing God into his life. As a slave, in jail, wherever – Yosef speaks to God about it and through that is able to draw in the light of good in everything.
The truth is that western society is catching up with the Torah. Dr. Shachar and Shawn Achor are pioneers in today’s society with a paradigm shift. The shift from thinking that happiness comes from success to the truth that happiness is a state of being that comes from within, not from without.
The American Dream needs to be reframed to Yosef’s dream. From the pursuit of happiness to the training of happiness. Happiness is not something to pursue as one pursues good grades, a career and acquisitions. Happiness will never be found in those things if happiness is not found before those things.
God willing we should slow down our pursuits of happiness and rather increase our awareness and gratitude for all the good that we already have.

To learn more on how to enjoy your life and relationships – and how to effect positive change in any environment – go to Rabbi Ari’s FREE video course at: http://www.ediin7.com.